narcissistmanifesto:

the fact that meryl streep and beyonce and betty white are gonna die one day makes me incredibly sad

thatguywhoblogs:

if i ever forget to hit anon, i’m just gonna chase after the message through cyberspace like timmy turner

image

I just had the greatest moment ever with a little kid at the grocery store
  • Kid wearing a Batman shirt: *standing in the middle of the aisle and sees me, places his fists on his hips and looks at me* Batwoman.
  • Me, also wearing a Batman shirt: Batman.
  • Kid: Are you keeping Gotham safe?
  • Me: Yes. Have you captured the Joker?
  • Kid: Not yet, but soon. Keep up the good work. *he spins around quickly and runs the other direction*

ONLY JUST NOW

DUDE AS A KID I REALLY WATED ME SOME USEFUL GODDAMN SKINTONES

WHERE WERE YOU 15 YEARS AGO.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY ORANGE PEOPLE I HAD.

15 years ago

they were

in

my 

house

(Source: tipsyggnostalgic)

what if a celebrity sent their nudes to the wrong number and you’re just sitting there watching tv and all of a sudden your phone goes off and bam you have michael cera’s nudes

#the first celebrity that came to your mind was michael cera?

Every man should view himself as equally balanced: half good and half evil. Likewise, he should see the entire world as half good and half evil…. With a single good deed he will tip the scales for himself, and for the entire world, to the side of good.
- Maimonides (Rambam)
Why “douchebag” is an awesome insult:

nikinapalm:

niaili:

When you call someone a douchebag, what you’re literally saying to them is,

“You think you’re so great, but your existence is actually totally unnecessary and your main function is probably toxic. Also you shouldn’t be allowed near anyone’s genitalia.”

I know I’ve reblogged this before but this is applicable for tonight

(Source: nerdgirling)